22F, could someone close in age please burp for me?

they define asexuality in an ambiguous way

How is “not feeling sexual attraction” an ambiguous definition when compared to the definition of any other orientation?

Heterosexual - being sexually attracted to people of the other sex

Homosexual - being sexually attracted to people of one’s own sex

Bisexual - being sexually attracted to both men and women, or to more than one sex or gender

Pansexual - being sexually attracted to people regardless of their sex or gender

Asexual - a lack of sexual attraction to people of any gender

The word can be used as an umbrella term, but that generally agreed-upon definition is pretty straightforward, completely regardless of conversation about social identity.

which is reflected within their results

It seems reductive to assume that asexuals need to have completely different masturbation habits in order to validate the study’s definition of the term.

I’m also not sure why you’d mention fetishes that ace men often have in common with non-ace men. Do you simply not think there can be any overlap between the preferences of asexual men and sexual men whatsoever?

Maybe there needs to be a new term that means 'attracted solely to things and people outside of myself.

“Allosexuality: any kind of sexual attraction for another person”, as opposed to asexuality. Allosexuals include people who are straight, gay, bi, and pan. (Allosexuality: What Does It Mean?)

It suggests maybe some problems with self-image to want to completely remove yourself from the scene

There’s no “want” to remove yourself from the scene… there’s often just not much of a scene at all. This is a feature of asexuality that probably has to do with neurodivergence (as many aces are ND). For example, when I think about the subject of my fetish, I’m mostly hyperfixating upon the subject itself — that’s the source of the arousal, why would I not? I’m not imagining myself in the middle of some story. It’s just a different way of experiencing things. You’re simply not playing the role of a “protagonist” in a sexual fantasy, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

All of these are valid things to research, but why categorise a bunch of sexual interests under a word that means ‘without sexuality’?

“Asexual”, just like “heterosexual”, “homosexual” and the like are not scientific terms. They’re all words that exist to describe experiences and feelings, and thus they’re going to mean different things to different people. Definitions change and more labels emerge, because yes, it gets convoluted at times. But so long as there are people who aren’t straight/gay/bi/pan, there are going to be people who don’t fit under any term besides “asexual”. It’s honestly just the way it is.

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I have a lot of issues with the amount of variability found within the definition of asexuality. It seems like the category which is the most mutable and less agreed upon, even among the people in it. For one, one of my old friends with benefits is asexual… Another friend was a sex worker and goes through phases of casually fucking people. Words have meaning for a reason and I value precision in language.

I appreciate your response though.

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Maybe this will clarify, this is where the variability comes from. All asexuals lack attraction, so they don’t have deep biological urges or a need for sex like allos do. But they vary in sex favorability (how much they may enjoy sex). This is what people mean when they say “asexuality is a spectrum”:

Asexual ≠ sex repulsed. Some aces despise sex, others don’t mind whether they have it or not, yet a few do want it even in the absence of feelings of attraction. They may have it if they enjoy making the other person happy, want a sense of emotional intimacy, heck, they might just think it’s entertaining to pleasure someone and see what gets their rocks off. A lot of them are into kink and find it fun to play with. (Asexuality and Kink: Why Do So Many Aces Love It?)

The variance among these groups is why there are so many different labels and flags floating around. There’s far more precise language out there if you want to go looking for it. But it’s valid to point out the complications of having multiple identities under the same umbrella when they’re only unified by one core characteristic.

Hope this helps.

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