Advice/help please idk

I need an adultier adult’s advice erm, I saw a post somewhere on here about how this one user has a partner, and I had wanted to talk about it cause he chatted with me about burps n stuff and let me listen, and I felt bad and I never wanted to end up in a situation like it if it’s the same cuase also the post said his partner was probably not into burps and he was struggling with that so when we chatted again some time I asked about the situation myself and I won’t say the specifics, but they don’t know about it and when we were chatting it seemed clearly he was struggling and addicted and I felt even more bad so now I don’t know what to do besides move on and so over stuff as usual, but I wanted to talk about this cause even if there’s a possibility his partner doesn’t like burp stuff, I don’t know and still is it the same thing as cheating?? I’m not calling anyone out or anything to I’m just like, having a thing rn I feel bad for his partner but I also feel bad for him and I know I’m not involved but I wish I didn’t I gust need advice and it just feels kinda wrong and bad especially once I talked to him about it at first he said thank you for being sincere cuz most ppl don’t rly care but is that even right like ldpgndlgk, I wanna cry right now like uhm, can anyone even understand this like, I don’t know what to do, jut any adultier adults, or regardless of age any moral adult

Average schizo post

Someone with a girlfriend who’s also looking for others?

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Excuse me?

I don’t understand the question well sorry,

But no, it was that he was addicted to burping for others unless you meant something else.

I am genuinely asking for like some kinda advice or what to do about what happened, maybe it’s not that serious, and I MAY be overreacting, but schizo isn’t an answer!.

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If one has a burping fetish then burping is a sexual act.

If one has a partner and performs sexual acts with others without the partners knowing, it is cheating.

It sounds like you feel guilty that this person was doing things with you behind his partners back, sexual things.

Because you feel guilty and are just putting this together, I wouldn’t beat yourself up too hard. This is a nuanced issue.

If someone is doing things behind their partners back, it’s largely on them because they’d find someone else to be unfaithful with, at least specifically in this context.

Use what you’ve learned to set boundaries with others in the future.

I’d also advise leaving peoples names out of posts like this.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it is an important issue to discuss and this is exactly the type of thing the website should be for.

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Thank you and yeah, cause at first i thought well, is it serious if they rly don’t like burping? But then i thought still at the end of the day the other person doesn’t know even if they didn’t like the fetish, for a while i know about ppl cheating with others but hated how the other person (that wants to help their partner cheat) is bad and like super sinful and i never wanted to end up ina situation like tis and the thought kept going in my mind that I’m bad and even though this is my fetish too and nobody irl knows the entire thing alone just, I’m sorry if this sounds like a confusing mash of junk but yeah, I’ll keep this as a learning experience.

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Bro i don’t understand any of this

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No I completely understand. This conversation brings up a lot of important points like, where do you draw the line between porn and burping for someone online. They both seem to be faceless computer cums but there seems to be a degradation, or at least a limitation on the potential of intimacy in a couple if sexual needs aren’t met within the bounds of the relationship.

To a certain extent, and maybe for only some, the burping fetish is a process, of coming to terms with aspects of our psychology and systems of control we have developed. I’d argue it is good for a relationship to end gooning behaviours, pull back on fantasies, and find a middle ground between partners that is generous and functional. But some people aren’t ready to quit jerking it yet.

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Bro if not tripping, every person’s relationship is different. Some girls ive dated didnt mind if I watched porn and others did. It really just depends on the person. But personally i wouldnt care if my gf watched porn as long as we had a healthy sexual relationship and i dont consider it cheating.

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Yeah, true, i guess i get it.

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Oh yeah, I’ve heard this about some relationships.

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Yeah every relationship is different and will have its own boundaries. Its important to establish these early on to avoid it getting further on and more serious and you have a problem you physically and or mentally can’t reconcile. That is a recipe for a toxic relationship.

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It’s not that it isn’t serious or that you’re overreacting this post just was really not in place with anything I’ve seen here. Also the wording is just not it I could barely make sense of what you were saying at times, plus you named the person you called out and they’re probably on the forums? It got confusing there idk

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Yeah OPs post was very confusing but it seems to focus on if he should feel bad for talking to a guy who had a partner and still engaged in burp fetish porn. And i don’t think its anyones problem but the two in the relationship. Nothing he should personally even think twice about. My advice was more focused on the overall variety of what’s acceptable in relationships because it felt like a more productive focus. Like some are totally chill with their partner having sex with others and others dont have sex till marriage. A lot of room to still have a healthy relationship it just depends on the boundaries you set.

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Yeah bbrrpp pointed that out so i did fix that sry, and i know that i didn’t make it very…coherent, that’s mainly because i don’t really make large paragraphs like that anyways (especially when just chatting alone wit people) but i wanted to make it make about as much sense as i could but i guess it still came out weird.

Well i suppose the only thing rly is to just move on cause he also deleted (or just deactivated) his account afterwards.

I don’t think you owe anything to their relationship. The arrangement is theirs not yours. He would be breaking the rules of the arrangement but you aren’t. I would still advise not to get involved with someone in a relationship but more for practical reasons than moral ones, e.g. that it’s going to be a mess if anyone finds out and you’ll suddenly have a new enemy (the girlfriend) that you have to worry about.

These situations I find are more complicated than people usually think. For example maybe the guy feels some deep shame about having the fetish, and doesn’t want to tell anyone in real life, but also doesn’t want the empty existence of never experiencing fulfilling sexuality. Or maybe he’s in a long term relationship with a dead bedroom, still likes his partner but feels bad about a life with no sex at all. And so on, it can get really tricky.

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