This is a very interesting question I wanted to explore too. I am the COMPLETE opposite. I am SO turned on by sexual activity. But I find that a majority of fellow fetishists I talk to and am friends with are not actually turned on by conventional sex. They still masturbate and want to have a relationship, but as someone once told me “I think the fetish ruined sex for me”. I’ve wondered why. I think that’s kind of the point of a fetish though. Sexual energy is focused on something non-sexual.
I don’t know why I’m the complete opposite. I am a sex machine 24/7. Lately, I find myself being more and more sexual than ever before. I wasn’t sexual at all during puberty. I was more romantic than desiring of sex. Now I’m in my late 20’s and every day it’s like “Man, I wanna fuck.”
Idk if posted here already but I’ll share my experience. I’m asexual and also don’t get turned on by conventional sex, honestly I’m sex repulsed. It grosses me out and I’d rather die a virgin. I also get slightly uncomfortable with anything sexual related, like dirty talk or sending pics. Burps are the only things that turn me on but even then, I have to put in effort (masturbation, watching videos) to get turned on. It’s extremely hard for me to get aroused outside of this fetish.
Honestly it’s okay though, I’m not too upset about it. My dating pool may be a bit smaller but I’m happy and content with my sexuality.
We’re one in the same. When I’m alone and horny, burping content is like the only way to go, but I’m still attracted to my partner just fine and seek sex from them. Though I’m always thinking about my fantasies, burping or not burping related, during sex. My partner tells me he doesn’t usually think of anything.
I am also 17 and I have had sex multiple times but I don’t particularly enjoy it. I like the idea of it more than actually participating in it. I am glad that you brought this up because I was wondering why I cannot get turned on by porn at all. It is very interesting to hear other people’s perspectives and makes me wonder if I am maybe asexual.
Probably no. My lack of desire for sex is based on 2 things, I just don’t find it all that interesting, plus I don’t really feel comfortable with someone else in control of my bodily sensations (ie: getting me off). I’d rather do everything myself.
Exact same here. Only farts turn me on. Sex repulses me, in fact if a fart video includes nudity it’s a turn off for me.
I honestly can’t tell if I would be able to enjoy sex. I want a partner and I think I would not mind having sex with them if they want to, as long as it doesn’t involve me being hard. Being gay I always told myself I could bottom unless it hurts?
But yeah this is definitely iffy. Gay and asexual reduces the option to near zero.
I dunno if you’ve tried this, but if you are interested in finding a partner, I would encourage you to get involved on some of the asexual forums. Specifically there are some asexual dating subreddits.
It’s definitely a bit of a needle in a haystack scenario, and it might not happen instantly, but if you’re willing to keep an open mind and consider starting off long distance, there are folks out there who are wired the same way we are. Probably not with the same exact fetish, but people are pretty open-minded in the community. Even if you don’t find a partner, I’ve found it incredibly reaffirming just to be able to talk frankly about this stuff with people who have similar experiences.
Totally necroposting here. But I was about to make a whole new topic when I stopped and had deja vu. Sure enough, I found this thread that I myself replied to.
I wanted to touch back on this topic since I had been in another relationship between that time.
Although I have been horny as fuck for conventional sex for most of my young adult life thus far, there have been times in relationships when I noticed that my partner obviously viewed sex differently than me. Sometimes I would “just feel like” jacking off rather than having sex. Mutual masturbation to me is just as intimate as actual penetrative sex. As long as my partner and I are doing something sexual (oral, mutual, penetrative) then I feel intimate. Some days I only feel like mutually masturbating, other days I feel like having penetrative sex, and other days I just want to grind and cuddle but not actually do anything further than that. It just always seemed fluid to me. That is apparently not the case for a lot of other people, and it hit me like a ton of bricks during my last relationship.
My last ex and I would periodically get into an awkward tiff where she felt like “things were off” and say things like “We rarely have sex” and I blinked twice at her and said, “We just had sex last Friday.” Or she wouldn’t count mutual masturbation or oral sex as being “intimate”.
I felt really dumb thinking how it took me until 30 to fully realize that people have wildly different ideas of how “frequent” they have sex and how they view different sexual acts. To me, having penetrative sex once a week seems like a generally healthy indicator of a good relationship between two people who like having sex. Would I do more or have I done more? Yeah, totally. But I didn’t see that as “alarming”. Clearly that baseline frequency was not enough for her. Which then makes me wonder if I am less fanatic about sex than your average person without a fetish but still desiring of sex more than your average person with a fetish.
Have you ever had friction with a partner about your enthusiasm for sex versus theirs?
Gay/ace person here as well. Sexual stuff doesn’t entice me at all, but all my horniness comes from a handful of fetishes. Especially belching, since I consider that to be my main and most prominent fetish.
Exactly lol. Reading this was quite frustrating seeing as so many people cancel their sexuality because they’re attracted to different things and call think that’s asexual.
There are so many people who used to like vanilla sex now only enjoy kinks due to porn, and can’t enjoy vanilla sex. They’re not asexual, doesn’t matter if they started with kinks or vanilla stuff.
Yes, in the opposite direction, having a more voracious appetite than my partners. But I can count a few times where I said I wasn’t in the mood. It’s human.
