I’ve been seeing someone for around 7 months now. Started as kinky (bdsm) hookups and eventually turned into us going steady. Recently, he’s been unintentionally doing things that tickle my niche fancies (talking about being full and having me rub his belly, etc). Whenever this happens, I try to shut my brain off/brush it off because I feel so crazy and shameful.
I’d love to tell him, and I’m sure he’d react well and magic could happen, but part of me is convinced he’s going to think it’s nonsense and not want any part of it. I think negatively a lot, especially about this topic. I did mention having “other shit I’m into” drunkenly once and he brought it up again. I told him I wasn’t ready for that conversation because I’m embarrassed, and that everything is very harmless and connected.
Does anyone have any advice? I would love to gain some confidence about this!
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Also- sorry if this is in the wrong category. That could be a possibility.
oh my god, please stop being stupid and just tell him. Really sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Have you told any partners in the past? If you haven’t, I understand how it can be scary to start but once you get that bandaid off, you’ll realize how easy it can be. The only thing that might make it weird is that you’ve waited so long to say something. Like, this is someone you met in an explicitly kinky context and have been seeing for a while and has asked to know more about your fetishes. Maybe I’ll eat my words, but I genuinely can’t imagine this going badly. Wishing you the best of luck
(and yeah, this probably should be in discussion)
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Haha yes! Thank you so much…
I’ve told other boyfriends about belly stuff (they took it well), not burping specifically, which is the scary part.
One of my closest friends even believes he could be secretly into it all as well, but I doubt that. Too good to be true.
(And yeah, lmao, I noticed after I posted. My brain took personal details as Irl stories because I’m a genius who reads well.)
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Hi love! Anytime I’m in a relationship it takes me a while to warm up to people about what I like too. Even if it’s not a fetish. It’s perfectly normal to be hesitant because of how it seems in society. We don’t talk about these things enough. I wouldn’t sit him down and have a full conversation. Try starting with something playful and joking at first. Dip your toes in and get a feel. If you really want to know if he’s ok with it, take it slow. That’s how I’ve always done it. No not everyone will like what you like but just remind yourself that you’re worth a man that pays attention to what you like and want too! That being said if he doesn’t then weigh what’s more important to you! Wish you the best and let us know how it goes!
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