In need of advice. I recently accidentally found out that my boyfriend has a burping fetish. I discovered what he was watching online and he blurted it out, but he also told me that he doesn’t want to ever talk about it again. I told him that I didn’t think it was weird at all but he was definitely embarrassed and told me that he wants to basically get rid of the fetish instead of indulging it. I let it go but I know that he is still watching a lot of burp content online.
For more context, he thinks that I never burp because I always suppress my burps to avoid grossing people out. Even though I don’t have a burping fetish, I can burp and I want to tell him after finding this out, but he told me he doesn’t want to talk about it again and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable? It honestly bothers me that he is watching all these videos of girls burping but won’t even talk to me about it at all. I know there’s a possibility that this is something he wants to keep out of “real life,” but I don’t think that’s the case because there was one time he told me do the Sprite burp challenge to see if I could drink a whole Sprite without burping. I suppressed it like I usually do but in retrospect it seems like he did want me to burp. I just need advice if/how I should bring this up. It makes me kind of upset that he is watching all these videos, especially when I am totally willing to do that for him if we could just talk about it.
TLDR: I found out my boyfriend has a burping fetish. He doesn’t know that I can burp but I can, and I want to bring it up to him but I’m unsure because he said that he doesn’t want to talk about it ever again. He watches a lot of burp content online which bothers me, especially because I would literally burp for him whenever he wanted.
P.S. I am so bad with words so this probably all came out super awkward sounding but thank you so much to anyone who has advice
I say just burp more naturally around him. It doesn’t need to be in a sexual context but it’s kinda showing him that you are comfortable with it. Obv respect his boundaries if he tells u he doesn’t like it, but that probably won’t be the case. But it is a normal bodily function so maybe just stop suppressing them around him and see what happens
discovered what he was watching online and he blurted it out, but he also told me that he doesn’t want to ever talk about it again. I told him that I didn’t think it was weird at all but he was definitely embarrassed and told me that he wants to basically get rid of the fetish instead of indulging it.
People unfortunately feel a lot of shame about sexuality. It sounds like he would like to involve you in it, but feels too embarrassed. Maybe you’re the first person he’s ever told and he’s not sure how people in real life are going to react.
Try to tell him that you’re fine with it. That you don’t think less of him and aren’t going to tell anyone, and that it’s not a fetish that hurts anyone so he shouldn’t feel ashamed.
I would say to wait a little and analyze his behavior through the next days. Let this “embarrassing” memory he went through fade away with some time, after that you can try and talk to him about it in the most natural way possible. And if he doesn’t talk to you at all even after that, maybe a therapist would be better to talk to him about this. People have their time, and some can be really slow. Just don’t force things, if he is ashamed of the fetish and embarrassed of what you saw, forcing things up can make things more uncomfortable. Of course you can just be bold and talk to him right now or when you are free, but depending on the person he is, he can react in a good, neutral or bad way, so that’s up to you.
(That’s just my opinion. I’m not a therapist or have a psychology degree)
We all want to be “normal” and fulfill the expectations of others. When a bizarre fetish pops up in our minds, it’s hard to reconcile that with your expectations of what “normal” is. The worst thing about having this fetish is knowing you will make demands of the person who chooses to be intimate with you. There is always that craving, and it seems to get twice as aggressive the more I have attempted to suppress it. I may be wrong, but he probably doesn’t want to bring it into the relationship, because he believes it will be foreign and somewhat disturbing to you. Communication is the key, and he will eventually come around to the point that he wants to talk about it. If he is like me, this link will be sort of like pornography…something he masturbates to when alone just to get the cravings to stop so he can resume his “normal” activities with you.