Hey lovely people 
it’s been a long time since I’ve posted any new content but it’s me, Courtney from Thy Fetish Kingdom. If you’ve heard of me then you know I have a studio on clips4sale, studio #95095, and if you know me you’re probably wondering why I haven’t posted any new clips, let me tell you the reason is very hard for me to talk about. First let me just say how much I really miss posting videos. It gave me confidence, confidence I had been lacking my entire life. Confidence that is now so far gone I can’t even remember what it felt like. Lately I have been, feeling so, just, hideous and because of that along with so many other reasons I’ve been feeling really alone and desperate to relieve this deep depression. And I can’t even begin to put into words how much I wish this feeling would go away, sometimes I wish I just wouldn’t wake up when I fall asleep at night. So I guess it’s an understatement when I say that I’ve been really, really depressed. Even though I’m desperate for a steady income, the only videos I think I could bring myself to upload right now are crying videos. But I’m even too depressed to do that. It’s a long story that involves my mate of over six years leaving me due to him not being attracted to me anymore, and it’s all because of my teeth, a tiny bit is the fact I’ve gained a little bit of weight but honestly my teeth he says are what made him stop wanting me and looking for someone he wants. My teeth are so embarrassing and even more painful, to be honest right now I couldn’t ever imagine posting another burping clip again. Or any clip for that matter. I can barely see the screen through my tears and my head hurts so bad from crying for so long and hard that my vision is blurry so if I’m not making the most sense or if I’m not as well written as I normally would be I’m sorry, but I still feel like God is telling me to tell my friends, you guys seemed to actually care about me, you guys got my back when someone tried to trade stories for my clips one time and I’ll never forget how good it felt having people stand up for me like that, people that respected me and felt I had some worth even, unlike I have right now. Anyways I have been in so much pain from tooth aches in the last few years and now more than ever. I recently had to be admitted to the hospital because my whole face swelled up so badly in a matter of minutes and quickly got so bad they wouldn’t let me leave the hospital because they said the infection was less than a day or so from passing the “ocular barrier” and making it’s way into my brain which would most likely kill me. So I spent 4 nights on intravenous anti biotics until they finally let we leave. On top of the constant excruciating pain, I was in a domestic violent situation, quite a few of them but one situation in particular I ended up being struck in the mouth and face around 7 times and now it’s very obvious that I’m missing teeth in the front of my smile well my frown. One of my two front top teeth and one of my front lower got broken to the gum and another one right on the other side of my only front tooth, got loosened during the altercation and recently a couple weeks ago came the rest of the way out, and I don’t think there has ever been anything that has broken me as much as this, the way I feel so ugly now, the way people judge me, I’ve been called druggy I don’t even know how many times since this happened. I’m no druggy, I do smoke weed a good amount but that’s legal in my state and I don’t even smoke everyday. I don’t drink alcohol because I’m intolerant, and never ever do hard drugs, so being judged like this hurts so bad. I’ve applied for countless jobs just to be turned down everytime and I’m positive it’s because of my teeth. You can see them switch off like they are waisting their time as soon as I open my mouth to talk. My mom past recently and it’s so devastating not only because I loved her so very much, but because she was my rock, anytime I needed mental support she was there and not just emotionally but financially she was there for me. Had this happened when she was still alive I’m sure she would have done anything she could to help me, even though she wasn’t rich by any means. Right now I only have state insurance and they just keep pulling the ones that hurt and since this has been a constant problem my whole life due to my teeth having bad enamel and to be perfectly honest never really being good at taking care of them which is another reason my mom always would try to help me with dental work because she felt so bad for not ever asking me to brush my teeth growing up, not one time. I know it’s my fault too and I hate myself for it so much. I’d do anything in the whole world to go back in time and I’d take such good care of my teeth. On top of not taking good care of them and having bad enamel I also had a double set of the teeth that vampires have longer I forget the name of them but I had 4 of those instead of two and was always made fun of. I’ve hated my teeth my whole life, and by 10 years old I already had 7 teeth pulled due to being too bad to even save. I don’t know what to do, I’m at a point of desperation I’ve tried starting a go fund me with not one donation, aside from some guy I didn’t know breaking my heart by messaging me telling me he wanted to donate one Bitcoin and he said it was worth like 8 thousand or something and told me to sign into some website to get it and I tried and tried but it kept telling me to verify the link they sent but it would never send one and when I told the guy he just never answered me again. I can’t even begin to tell you how badly that hurt me. I’ve tried emailing and calling every dentist in my area. Most don’t even respond, one though told me about this program where 1000 dentists each choose one person a year to do a full mouth makeover and I got my friend to nominate me and she wrote a beautiful letter and we never heard anything back. It’s called halo dental and I was thinking maybe if more than one person could nominate me, like all of you amazing friends of mine, I don’t know maybe they would choose me, or maybe if any of you have any clue how to make a GoFundMe that actually gets donations. I know it’s a lot to ask I’m sorry. I just don’t know where or who else to turn to and I’m at my last hope, I don’t want to hurt physically or emotionally anymore. I’d rather just not exist sometimes. Anyways I’m sorry for this huge long novel but this is the first time I’ve felt hopeful in well ever when it comes to my my teeth. Okay I’m done, please just let me know if any of you have any idea what I might be able to do. Oh and I forgot to say why I can’t just get dentures for free if the state even still does that, it’s because if you look up what happens if you get just dentures with no implants to trick your jaw into thinking it still needs to provide nutrients to your teeth than your jaw just shrinks and disappears and with in ten years I would have that old lady witch chin. And that’s not what I think would me feel or look better. Love you guys and my name is Courtney Blomeen-Maeurer since if you nominate me you’ll need it. You can also Google me and see me on monsters inside me season five episode 8 weird I know, I’ve never given my real name but there you guys go, you are my friends and now you know me for real. My email is courtneyroseallisonistfk@gmail.com
I’m all in
I love you guys
Love 
Courtney
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Have you tried a thing called full time employment yet?
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