I kinda think getting desensitised to your partners is normal. I didn’t tell my gf till deep in our relationship, and even though she’s willing to burp for me and continues to burp pretty regularly, I don’t react to a lot of them (except during intimacy etc). The same way that we can shower together and not have it be about us being naked, she can burp and it not be about me.
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I’m curious if anyone has had actual experiences that affirm this belief. When I showed my girlfriend this thread a while ago, it opened up a conversation about how she would have felt if I’d told her about my fetish later into our relationship and she agreed that it would have been weirder for her than telling her almost immediately. Curious if anyone’s partner has said the opposite, that they’re glad you waited to tell them?
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I mean honestly both sides can be argued. I wouldn’t say telling immediately is better than waiting, but waiting isn’t better than telling immediately. That ultimately comes down to how your relationship is. Everyone’s is different, and that’s ok. My ex gf, i told her i was into burping after about 4 months of being together. Then again we were 14 at the time so i feel like it was a little easier to spill the details, because we were less stressed then (not adults essentially)
But my girl now, i think i would rather wait until we are at least living together before I do. Like I’ve mentioned a few times she doesn’t really have all that big of burps and that’s ok with me… however at the same time that can be worked on. A friend of mine, she used to have these super small burps when I first started hanging out with her all the time in like 2023. Fast travel to today and some of her burps can shake stuff in the room that’s how loud they can get. So it’s possible for my girl to learn to get like that, but also at the same time I’m ok if she doesn’t. I love her for her and she has plenty of other ways of turning me on and pleasuring me so I’m not missing out on that connection if she can’t learn to. At the end of the day though of course like I mentioned earlier everyone’s relationship is different.
My guess is everyone would prefer to be told as soon as possible, but most people would probably be very understanding if you chose to wait a while before telling them. It could definitely get weirder the longer you wait, but that depends a lot on other factors as well.
I figure id update just in case anyone was curious or interested.
I did finally tell my girl what I was into. I told her I was into burping and I also told her I’m into pregnancy stuff, and some other things I won’t go into detail with. I’m not sure how we got on the topic but we were talking about stuff we enjoyed sexually and how I or her could make the other feel good. It’s actually funny because we both have some very SPECIFIC fetish’s that we are into, but I figured I’d tell her I was into burps because I’ve heard a few come from her. She said she can’t do any on command and that she rarely burps, but that she would do it for me (and would record some for me or let me record some of her). I even told her I could help her improve and she said she was willing to do that. I knew that she would be ok with what I was into, because honest to god she is the most understanding and open girl I’ve ever met. I’m glad she also told me what she enjoys so that I can work on it for her as well and we can both pleasure each other.
I think the thing that shocked me the most was that she is ok with me masturbaiting on my own even when we live together. Obviously that will only be on rare occasions, but we both agreed there are just some times that you want to go at it on your own. This would usually happen if one is on a trip and the other isn’t with, or one is at work etc. This means I can still enjoy my videos that I’ve collected over the years and she is ok with me having them.
I’ll update again if she improves on her burps
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So happy to hear this, Steven!
I’m glad you finally worked up the courage to tell her and it went well.
My girlfriend also didn’t really burp much when we first got together and she’s come so far in just a few months. Hope you have a similar situation!
Glad your honesty and openness paid off!
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An even better question is who here actually is married? I constantly see “girlfriend” mentioned, but anyone here actually have a wife? Maybe kids? I have not opened up on here about this but ive actually been married for 13 years and have a 9 year old son. I have been part of this community since its inception so I wasn’t always locked in. Ive always felt like somehow this knoweldge would be offputting for some of the models ive made purchases from. I know they probably dont care though. I have told my wife about one of my fetishes, but I had always felt like this is not something I could tell her because its not a task that can easily be met by my standards. Over time I find myself on the net looking for media less and less. I dont know that ill be able to kick this and will probably still have a strong need for it into my 50s if I even make it that far. It is uncomfortable for me though to have this fetish or any fetish living in the same space as my son though. Ive always been cautious to think about triggers that might pass on to him one day.
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lol, “CONSTANTLY” might be a bit of an exaggeration. A lot of the people here seem to struggle to form actual relationships which is why they’re so porn-brained.
But I think this is a really interesting question, Danny! Would be curious to hear from more married people about their experiences. Honestly though, it makes me really sad to know that after 13 years of marriage to someone, you haven’t felt able to be open to her about this part of your life. Like, I can’t possibly imagine marrying and sharing my life with someone who I didn’t feel I could be completely open about every aspect of my life with. I think you should really think about telling her.
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Trust me, I get your point for sure. But I would ultimately be left with a life partner who would feel forever unable to fulfill this desire. Like, if the tables were turned and my husband came to me to tell me he gets aroused by burping and I couldnt burp really at all, what would I be thinking? Well, I would feel a lack of confidence and then would start to question well what is he doing to fulfill this desire if its not coming from me? That’s where my heart and head are at with it. I dont know…its really hard to navigate mentally and has been for a while. She is able to fulfill my other desire so I guess it never was something that felt like a relationship requirement.
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Well actually fun fact, me and my girl are married. That’s a long story and obviously we have not been together as long as you and your wife have, but as I had mentioned that I told her what I liked, she wasn’t offended and she wasn’t scared. I truly think if your wife loves you she won’t find it weird. Will it surprise her? Sure maybe, but if she burps at all then I doubt she’ll find it weird. If she hides hers or stuffs hers down, then maybe she will. In all she loves you for you so I can’t see why she wouldn’t be accepting of what you enjoy sexually.
Thank you. I thought about it and realized there wasn’t really a point in waiting to tell her, so I found the right time to let her know and it worked out. It’s nice that she is willing to do both of the fetishes I’m into (burping and pregnancy) so once those can combine I’ll be in heaven. I’m also happy that what she is into is something I can do for her, because I know mine is pretty niche so expecting her to do that for me I’d want to be able to do whatever she wants for herself.
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A lot of people seem to join this site, stay for 5-10 years and then leave. Not everyone leaves, but many/most do. I think the reason you don’t see many married people here is simply because they’ve already left the site by the time they get old enough to marry.
I guess the most straightforward explanation is desensitisation. People are enthusiastic about their sexuality for a few years and then get over it and don’t feel the need to talk about it any more. But not everyone leaves or becomes desensitised, and I’m curious why that is.
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I guess (some) people are leaving because the met someone to share offline. This might be the person, they are going to marry.
Hey! I’m married now. Been married for about a year. I told my wife early in the relationship and she told me about her kinks. Strictly from a burping standpoint, my wife has improved immensely and now understands how to turn me on using them, although we struggled early on for a while.
I’m a huge advocate for saying something early because if it’s important to you, then your partner should know
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Not everyone desires marriage or children.