Need opinions! I would like to write a short story, but

I want to write a short story based on a short story that was turned into a film - The plot of said film is similar to groundhogs day, but one of the main characters is 17 at the time of the loop beginning, and the other characters age is never expressly mentioned.

I feel weird talking about two 17 year olds, especially if the story were to somehow turn NSFW (burping isn’t necessarily a fetish but we are on a fetish forum for it), however in the film they are stuck in the loop of a day. This loop lasts until the end of the film and the amount of days they are stuck in it for isn’t explicitly stated, meaning it is up to interpretation how long it has been.

I would like to write the story, but technically, even if I were to write it so that they’ve spent so long in the time loop that they both “feel over 18” because of the amount of time that’s passed, they’re technically still 17 and I feel like this is a ethical nightmare and could also attract some weirdos if they read the story.

What are your thoughts?

I don’t believe losing a little accuracy from the source material by aging the characters up a couple of years would be detrimental, especially considering the alternative.


I agree with you, but I also think there are interesting plot points that could be taken from keeping the characters details the way they already are.

A lot of the best media in my opinion is media that gets you thinking. We don’t really come to this forum to do that, I think typing it out, seeing what other people’s reaction to the story before even starting to write it does show I have some merit in knowing if it is wrong or not, but if their brains are maturing throughout the loop, can’t they technically turn 18 during it?

I mean, it’s not like they’re forgetting anything that happens during it.

See, I’m conflicted on it, honestly. There are two ways that I’m thinking (three, I guess).

The first being “It’s been years since we’ve been stuck in here” with very, very little world building, just enough to understand the characters are stuck in a loop, and then the burping segments start.

The second being “[character one] and [character two] are completely different ages than the source material”, allowing the burping segments (as well as possibly other segments) to happen during the time-loop.

The third being “Purely world building for the time loop part” and then the final day - the day they break out of the time-loop - just so happens to coincide with the main characters birthday, wherein the burping segment starts.

One and three both would respect the source material the most - by that I mean showing the most emotion, especially if you’ve watched the film like I have. The second one could make for the best “sexual” story but almost all of the emotion of the story would be taken out of it, unless I were to completely re-write a ton of the movies script.

Concerning the source material - I would have to alter the story in order for it to really work, unless I go with the third option. That’s the only one I can realistically see not altering the source material. Using the first as a base would remove a ton of the emotion from the end of the original movie. The source material is meant to garner emotions (mainly sad but also psychological if you really think into it) and really make you think outside the box when it comes to the conclusion - teased at you in the beginning and revealed to later be true.

I think if I were to show you the source material, even if none of you agree that I should still write the story the original way, with just their minds aging throughout the story, I think you all would be able to see why I would like to write it that way.

I also think it comes down to how you write stories/read stories. Depending on your perspective (first person/third person) - whether you’re really thinking about these characters as the story, or inserting yourself into it. If you yourself were going through a time-loop every single day, you would also think that the amount of days that passed until your birthday would mean you’re eighteen, even if the rest of the world can’t see it, just you and your time-loop buddy. Think of yourself in this scenario.

Again, I want to stress that I can most definitely think of ways to change the story in order to fit the changes, but I also think that with the context of the original story as we know it, it could not only work pretty well, but enhance the original feelings of the story if I write well enough and stick to source for world building.

Again, thoughts? Maybe share the source material around? I haven’t read the short story, only watched the movie.

I think if you are unsure and just want to play it safe then you should avoid it but dont lose the idea! You can easily just twist it and make it your own thing instead of it being a fanfic.

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