Reprogramming yourself to be a confident belcher / overcoming the psychological barrier to burping freely

[jay901]

There are a load of threads with people who can’t physically burp or cant burp on command asking about how they can learn to physically do that. I haven’t seen anything talking about scenarios where guys can actually burp pretty good but have a problem mentally or psychologically.

So I’ll start by saying that although I eventually learned to do it quite late, I think I’m actually a pretty decent burper. I can do inhale and gulping method burps, I’ve got a range of pitches, sounds etc. I can burp-talk, rapid fire burp.

Part of the reason I think I struggled with learning to burp on command though was that I have a real mental block releasing my burps if I think someone else is gonna hear. It’s a pretty strong suppression to the extent that even if I can see someone, even when I know they wont be able to hear or even see what I am actually doing then I kind of freeze and fumble the whole thing. So as an example, I might be driving in my car practising some really nice confident bassy burps and then I pull up at the lights and maybe another car pulls up too but not right alongside me - a couple of lanes over and we are both held there waiting. All of a sudden, every burp becomes a real effort to force out and even though I am trying to push through, my throat kind of constricts and my body tries to involuntarily supress the burp so it comes out airy with minimal noise, or else it is flat and growly with no depth or tone and it just sounds more like I’m coughing or clearing my throat or something.

Like a load of people here I always had this anxious cold feeling as a kid when I heard a burp, and I literally needed to leave the room when there was a movie playing that I knew had a burp coming up. Hearing anyone burp in person always made me feel really awkward, exposed and uncomfortable and I went most of my life like that. The last few years I’ve made a real effort to kind of desensitise myself to that reaction and I no-longer feel this kind of second-hand shame or embarrassment about other peoples belches.

My question now is whether its possible to do the same for my own burps and just like I said in the title whether I can reprogram myself so I can overcome this mental block and fully commit to producing a carefree burp in company that actually showcases my talents

I mean I’m not wanting to be like Yanagi or anything and get in peoples faces and ruin their day by being a dick, and I unironically say that I recognise there is an “appropriate time and place” for ripping a burp freely in public lmao

For me so much of the attraction around burping is the whole male bonding dudes-being-dudes angle and I want that so so bad - not even from a sexual angle (although that’d be great too :P), just platonically there is something in this that would fulfil me and make me so so happy. I can still remember how jealous I felt of other guys as a kid that they were just so comfortable burping around each other and just being real and not having to worry about image and appearances.

I want to just be able to burp freely and casually in the bar, in the locker room, standing at the urinal, chilling with friends, after downing a shake at the gym, sipping beers on the beach, during a gaming session, queuing drunk at the taxi rank or walking home with colleagues after a work night out. Maybe get some banter, a laugh, a comment, a challenge… a contest . Maybe just get a quietly impressed reaction. Maybe just some silent acceptance and they didn’t even notice cos its just perfectly normal and natural and we continue like nothing happened cos no-one actually cares, or they think “gross” and then forget about it. I want to be the first one in the group or chat or meetup or interaction or whatever to break the ice with a burp if the moment’s right and make the other guys feel comfortable to just drop their own guard a little.

Anyone else in a similar position or feel the same?
Anyone who managed to overcome this barrier and just be more confident in this area?

[Boh]

Yeah, exactly same feeling here. I am stuck in any public situation, at the beginning even in private dates for burping where it might take few minutes of adaptation to get to my full potential. I am training for hypnosis, so I’ll have a go with self hypnosis to see if it works. I guess I am scared of becoming socially inappropriate of I get too loose, especially at work where it would be totally inadequate in my environment.

[Q]

I guess it’s mostly confidence. But the fact that you feel like you’re doing a sexual thing in public is probably going to feel odd to begin with.

[jay901]

haha that’s so weird you should say that man - I literally just tried self hypnosis for this randomly last night

(there is already a weirdly specific self-hypnosis youtube vid where a hypnotherapist has already created a script for a client if anyone is interested)

I was also a bit concerned about becoming too loose with this, but tbh ADHD already makes me highly inappropriate and unaware of boundaries in most social situations so on reflection I really don’t know why I am worried I might burp too much when it would just be one more log on an already blazing dumpster fire

[jay901]

That video

- YouTube

[shdn]

This describes my feelings and experiences pretty much EXACTLY almost to the point that I could’ve written it I feel that SO HARD.
Ever since I first developed a fascination for burping at age 11 (before that, I felt weird and uncomfortable whenever I heard anyone burp, like so many of us here), I struggled with the heartfelt desire to do that openly and relaxed in front of friends/family/the public, but the absolute inner block to do so. Over the years I practiced burping, first with soda, then at age ~15 I learned how to do it on command, by age 18 I finally felt like I was getting pretty good at it - now I’m 31 and even my closest friends and family haven’t ever heard me burp even once.
I felt like I tried to overcome my inner blockade sooo many times, but like you said, even if I manage (very rarely) to bring up the mental energy to try to burp in public, when I just have the slightest feeling like somebody could see me, they come out so incredibly weak and tiny that it’s just embarrassing. For 20 years it has gone on like that, and I feel like I have wasted my childhood and youth by not being able to overcome that crippling mental cramp. At that ages, it still would’ve been kinda socially acceptable to actually do it, now I’m over 30 and I think people would be even more weirded out and disgusted by it even if I could ever manage to burp freely. Also with friends and family, they’ve known me for decades at this point as someone who never ever burps, it would feel so incredibly weird to just do it at this point… like I’m a totally different person from the one they’ve known for so long. At the same time it’s pretty much my biggest wih for personal fulfillment to burp loudly ind freely in front of everyone and flaunt my skills. I wish there was a solution for this, but I haven’t found one.

[Boh]

I am exploring this when I am with new friends or in places where people don’t know me and it definitely helps: it’s more of a white canvas and you can be whatever you want. At some point, I’ll be exploring this also with some old friends with which this has sense (I don’t think it will have with my family for example), I just need to get my technique more reliable so I am less likely to fail . The idea that is too late to try something new should always be rejected: it’s a self imposed limit that does only lead to frustration and I have already got enough as I learned to burp (even natural ones) only after 30. Now I want it all and I want it now : I have discovered the hot pleasure of burping in cute boys’ face and mouth and I really love it, never having enough of that. I am going to explore all the aspects of this fetish and if someone asks me to belch in public for them, I am sure I’ll do that

[Kimble.burps47]

I have a similar background. Non burper growing up, learned to burp on command and then got really good at it.
The thing I found helped me ease into burping around people was probably two fold. First was starting little, controlled, muffled, apologetic, around certain people abd the build it up over time. The second was the realisation that not many people care. I wondered if the people who knew me would notice if I suddenly started burping casually around them, and no one really said anything along the “wait you never used to burp” type comment. I just don’t think people pay as much attention as we assume.

Either way, I’ve now eased into being quite a confident casual burper around people and it’s really quite freeing.

[rg355]

What helps me is the idea that if I’m in a public place where I don’t know anyone, and I know forsure I won’t see them again I’ll burp openly in public when I feel them. It was hard to get past the mental block but it feels liberating and freeing to let them out. Growing up I’d hear people burp in public and be jealous of their confidence and how good it must feel to belch like that. My favorite is when I’m out for a run or a bike ride and openly burp when I’m on the move lol.

[jay901]

Weirdly I don’t think its actually the sexual thing that makes it uncomfortable for me - it doesn’t really bother me that much. I think it is more about a basic thing that I really worry people will judge me hard on a social level just for the act of burping.

I’m from a hardline non-burping family where it was seen as the ultimate taboo. Like really drummed into us. Actually I don’t know why I never thought about this before, but I remember as I write this how a big part of my early anxiety about hearing someone else burp on screen or in public was a kind of panic about how my mum would react to it lol. She was really aggressively vocal about how rude and disgusting it was and actually she would turn off TV programmes and say we weren’t going to watch them again if there was an unexcused belch she really would make a moral judgment about people’s whole character and value based on this and would completely go off a TV character or celebrity, or even an irl person forever and become really cold to them based on that one incident.

I’ve talked to guys from burping families before and although they are usually closeted about their fetish, they mostly seemed to have no problem burping socially. I honestly think the whole fetish would be so much easier if I was from a burping family - like it would be pretty easy to overcome the embarrassment about enjoying something “weird” rather than my current struggle trying to overcome the embarrassment about non-sexually doing something “morally wrong”

[jay901]

Ah man, the “wasted my childhood and youth” bit is so fkng deranged but I completely feel it

I think the guys have given some good advice here though and its really good to hear that some people have managed to get past this block.

What @Kimble.burps47 says, there is definitely the whole “spotlight” syndrome thing where everyone feels that they are under scrutiny but really no-one even notices them most of the time and is feeling exactly the same thing about themselves. Unless a person is one of us, they are probably never gonna remember someone burping long enough for it to matter. I honestly think I could actually remember every time I have ever heard someone burp in person but no-one else would. Example, if I pick a random one, 3 years ago I was walking off the beach towards the end of the day. A family was sat right next to the path off the beach with dozens of people constantly coming and going and the dad sat there in a deckchair in his swimming trunks was sipping a beer and let out a pretty good belch right as I was walking up to him. I immediately panic but within seconds almost anyone who heard and had an opinion on it would have forgotten, by the time I got to my car probably me and one other person even remembered it happened, by the time the car was loaded up I was the only person on the beach who even remembered this dude existed or recalled ever seeing him

I definitely agree with @Boh about taking advantage of fresh situations where you don’t know people (or don’t know them in that context) to be someone different who isn’t constrained by past expectations and can burp. I’ve actually just moved away so I kind of have to meet new people and start again, so this might be a good opportunity to try that

I liked what @rg355 said about burping on the move - that’s maybe a low risk way to kind of get comfortable with this knowing that you wont be stuck in an awkward situation with someone for too long. I’m not gonna be running or cycling anywhere in this weather though but I did kind of try out a variation this morning - I had to walk and get something from the gas station so when I was on my way over I held a burp ready and when I walked past this guy going in the opposite direction I burped just after so he would hear but it’s not like I have to worry about making akward eye contact or anything haha. It wasn’t great but OK and I was cringing inwardly. Then when I came out of the gas station I tried to up it a level - I walked across the forecourt and did a burp as I was walking by this guy at one of the pumps that ended up muffled as expected, but I could see out the corner of my eye that he kind of glanced up briefly and then I got another burp ready and a few seconds later as I was getting closer to the corner of the street I pushed it out with medium force. It came out definitely big enough he would have heard it clearly and also known it was me because of the “pre-burp” I did first . So stupid but I felt really proud haha

[eructophile]

My burps are definitely weaker in public and around people I don’t know well. I try to suppress them as much as possible but sometimes this doesn’t work anyway if carbonation is involved.

I had a bit of a block too. When I was a kid, I repressed my burping or couldn’t burp, not sure. Maybe it was because my mother burped a lot (although I actually can’t remember her doing so before I realized I had a fetish) and it absolutely repulsed and embarrassed me. I learned to burp on command (age 10) from a friend a year before I let out my first audible burp, alone in the art room at school while drinking a can of Sprite (“holy shit!”). It wasn’t until I was around 17 that I suddenly started to feel the strong urge to have to release a burp. Since then, they’ve just been flying out of me. lol

But I do feel genuinely anxious the first few times hanging around someone or in meetings, groups, etc. when eating or drinking because I just know I’m going to have to burp. A lot. And probably not very subtly. I usually avoid carbonation in public. Now, with friends or even acquaintances, I’m gonna let them fly and while I won’t win any awards on this particular site, I definitely hold my own and have the biggest burps of anyone I know (or have ever known) in real life. I burp around my partners too of course. Romantic interests, maybe after the third date. lol

[wooza]

To summarize. Get some data, experiment, have fun, free up the shame put on you from others or by yourself, guilt. They are there for a reason. Not anything bad, but most times in toxic ways.

Confidence is something you always have.
Self esteem ist taught, but can come from within you, if you learn it.

Learning aystematically is key to all life situations.

To speed up learning, take mini steps, set goals, ask yourself, why you want burping in life, celebrate your mini wins, downs, track it, try it again. Feedbacks loops are important for that. So the basics.

[jay901]

Hey,

So I have taken some of the advice here. This week I have listened to this self hypnosis “burp freely” track every evening, and every day I have made it my goal to try and burp in public at least once. I’ve burped whilst I’ve been stood at the pump filling up my car, parking up at a public parking lot, waiting on a bus stop with people not at the stop but walking by on the road or waiting on the stop opposite, going into or out of the supermarket. At one stage I felt really brave and I belched pretty audibly in a supermarket aisle when there were just some teenage kids there.

What has been really interesting for me is that at first I found it really embarrassing, but then I have found that as I have done it more, my first reaction has been to find it really funny, which is a completely new thing for me.

Today I put my newfound confidence to the test. I had a night out with work colleagues who I have worked with for years and who have never heard me burp before. We started at a bar and had a couple of drinks, and then on our way to the restaurant I was walking alongside a couple of guys I have known for a while. As were walking and talking and I was a bit drunk I let a couple of pretty good burps go - I think maybe four times on the walk. They were really loud and obvious and I got literally no reaction at all . They just carried on chatting as if nothing had happened. I really enjoyed the feeling that this was a completely normal guy thing,

Much later on in the evening we have eaten and then been to a few bars and clubs, and then there are just a few of us getting some street food from a vendor in the early hours. I made sure to get a can of soda as well and whilst me and this other guy were out on the street eating and waiting for other colleagues to join us I chugged some of the soda and ripped a really nice belch and this guy said “dude that’s fucking disgusting! I am not a lover of burps” to which I just laughed. A minute or so later I chugged some more and did the biggest wettest belch I could muster and this same guy made like a fake puking sound and said “Bro, what the fuck! you need to stop burping like that man, that’s so damn gross” and I just laughed and shrugged and said “sorry man, my bad”

I wasn’t being obnoxious, I just wasn’t going out of my way to supress something that I have always felt anxious and a bit shameful about and It felt so good just to not really care too much about it. I also liked the kind of disgusted reaction I got from a really masculine male colleague who I would have assumed would be pretty nonchalant about this kind of thing.
It was also really interesting to me that the two female colleagues who had joined us by this time literally didn’t care at all.

A week ago I never would have thought I would be in this position, and I’m definitely looking forward to building my confidence in this more!

[shygirl]

I wasn’t able to burp audibly until about 10 months ago but I’ve been working on this recently. I def agree with what some other people mentioned about trying it around people who don’t know you as well who are likely to have less reaction than longtime friends who have never heard you burp.

I actually started around my partner, because they often teased me for being so shy of my bodily functions and encouraged me to be less self-conscious and more comfortable. I told them I would try to be less shy about it as long as they promised to ignore it and not make a big deal, and they promised.

Since becoming more comfortable with it around my partner, I’ve now done it a handful of times around new friends and was so relieved that none of them had any reaction. I think if anyone had called attention to it, even in a positive way rather than a disgusted one, I would have never wanted to try again.

I also realize now that I have a similar experience, in that I used to be too shy to swear and I slowly became able to by only doing it around new people who had no idea that I didn’t swear. Over several years I got increasingly more comfortable and now I swear all the time and my shyness surrounding it has decreased by probably 95%, so I’m hoping I reach that point with burping one day!