I’m going on a second date (very casual) with this woman I met online, and I’m seeking some advice from anyone who’s been in a similar situation. I was upfront about the fetish before we first met but we agreed to have a more vanilla first playdate and see how things felt. And they felt good! So I’m trying to get a little freakier for our next hang out.
She mentioned before that she likes sparkling wine, which excited me, but more because of the sparkling than the wine. I thought we might could use that to play. But, I’m sober, and I feel kind of weird asking my date to drink alone for my pleasure. I’ve had prior encounters where I’ve encouraged a date to drink a lot of soda so they can burp for me, but when it’s alcohol, that encouraging seems more predatory and intox kink makes me uncomfortable. Trying to figure out if I should just see how it goes one time or I should ask if there’s anything non-alcoholic she’d like to play with instead.
Are there any people here who’ve had practical experiences trying to balance exploring your burp fetish with not wanting to get too deep into intox play? Or any advice from fetishists with partnered experience.
1 Like
I would communicate these feelings with her. Let her set her own boundaries and we what she says.
4 Likes
If she wants to drink alcohol and you don’t, there’s not really anything wrong with that. It’s never not a smart idea to have someone be sober at a function, though also not bad if both parties aren’t sober as long as they are safe. When it comes to the fetish part, as so long the boundary is set before the drinking happens, there is no harm in play. Some people don’t mind drinking alone, so if they drink and you don’t, they really shouldn’t have a problem because they just want to spend time with you.
1 Like
Usually if I wanted to go out with a chick and I really don’t feel like drinking I’d pick her up so my excuse is that I’m the Designated Driver. But I feel you, I’ve always felt weird about trying to get someone to indulge in my fetish without giving something out in return. So maybe you could come up with some type of bargain lol I hope this helped in some way.
In my experience stepping around intox play, definitely communicate your feelings/hesitations. It’s always good to be clear and communicative, and that goes double for situations with intoxication. From the situations I’ve been in, people respond well to candid honesty regarding sobriety and conscious consent. If you want to create a spirited environment where you’re drinking something, there are some dealcoholized sparkling wines that are decently tasty (they might your own burps taste real weird though, fyi lol)
It’s not intox play if she consents ahead of time, knows her limits, and remembers that she can revoke her consent at any time. People that enjoy drinking don’t mind drinking alone, if anything, they might feel weird for the sober one(s), not for themselves (speaking from personal experience).
1 Like
UPDATE: I talked with her, and we were in agreement!
Going to bring her a bottle of ginger ale for our next date
5 Likes
