Hi! Im sorry, but I feel like I am too weird for having this fetish. I am really sensitive person on my own, and I think I cant talk to any of my sexual partners of this. What do I need to say, and how I need explain this? Also I think how to talk to my bestfriends about this. I think automatically, that they judge me for being kinda nasty or something. Tho I know they wont judge me, it’s kinda hard to explain and thats why im sorry ’bout that my mothertongue is not english.
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Life is too short to hide who you are. if you want to do it then do it, if you don’t then don’t. You can always laugh it off or bring it up as a hypothetical. Just say “i have a fetish and this is that fetish” if they are real friends then they won’t care and will possibly forget anyway.
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My advice is don’t tell your friends. I told some of my friends when I was younger and immediately regretted it. They didn’t seem to find it that weird, but I felt weird about it for a long time afterwards. And I realised, why do I need to tell anyone apart from a sexual partner anyway? Discussing fetishes with friends isn’t exactly a common topic, and unless you bring it up, there’s really no need to tell them. But the choice is yours, think about the reason why you want to tell them though and if it’s truly worth it?
As for sexual partners, that is a different story. I would recommend telling any serious sexual partner as soon as possible. There is no shame in sharing a fetish with a sexual partner. I have told several girlfriends over the years, and they were always very understanding and slightly intrigued, but they weren’t grossed out by it or anything. I think it’s best to tell them as soon as possible in the relationship because the longer you wait, the more it seems like you were trying to hide something, and people generally just don’t like that vibe. But again, the choice is yours, really it comes down to if you want to involve burping in your sexual activities with them, if so then you will need to tell them and I see no real reason to wait more than a few weeks if the relationship is going well.
The easiest way to bring it up with someone you’re in a relationship is to just be direct about it. For a sexual partner you can bring up the topic of fetishes and ask them if they have any. As long as you are in a sexual relationship with them I don’t see any issues there. Just bring up fetishes and tell them you have a burping fetish, they may ask what that actually means and all you need to tell them is your own experience of your fetish, try not to be shy or embarrassed about having to explain it, your partner will be interested to know. The conversation may feel weird at first or cause some anxiety but it will work out fine. Considering all the rare fetishes out there, burping is actually one of the mild, quirky ones, it doesn’t require any equipment or cause any mess.
I hope that helps, feel free to send me private message if you want to discuss it further.
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When I have shared my burp fetish with Plato ic friends, they either change the subject right away or admit that they have more conventional kinks that you find in porn videos. Either way it’s dismissive, and it’s extremely awkward when they respond by burping at you.
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That’s always bothered me, too. It’s like… it doesn’t proc ALL THE TIME. Kind of feels like they’re making fun of you. I only told on a truth or dare too, so it make me extra uncomfortable when it happened.
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The worst was when I was driving a friend home and he deliberately let out a burp and said, “I usually don’t burp, but I knew YOU would enjoy it”. It’s awkward enough having a fetish for something that people normally don’t associate with sexual arousal. It’s a hundred times more awkward when they know about your fetish and confront you with a burp.
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This is one of the two main reasons I guard my fetish with my LIFE. If certain people found out, they’d assume I was turned on every time they burped, when in reality my brain just filters it out for one reason or another. People can be very insensitive about it. It’s contextual, just like any other sexual activity or interest.
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There is absolutely no point telling friends, nothing good can come out of it and it can (and will) in fact backfire badly at some point.
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For real. You are handing over very valuable information. The ability to arouse someone with something non-sexual is actually quite a power to have over someone. And it is almost guaranteed to put you in the awkward position of the friend you told being around when someone burps. The entire situation is awkward AF; every time it happens, the only thing your friend is going to be thinking is, “Did that burp turn him on?” And you have to sit there knowing.
Besides that, there is just the fact that you may think you are only telling one of your best friends, but who really knows who they could tell at the end of the day? And it’s just not the sort of information I want floating around about me, to be honest. When I told 2 of my closest friends I was just young and unwise, I think I was seeking some kind of validation, to feel a form of acceptance about it from at least one of my close friends. But in reality, there are zero benefits to telling anyone, only risks. Also, I didn’t feel the validation or acceptance I was seeking. I told them, briefly explained it, and answered their questions. Thankfully, it was never mentioned again, but all it was was awkward.
Which is why I implore OP to ask the question of why they want to tell their friends and be sure to be comfortable with the decision before rushing into it. It’s not really about the fact they might find it weird or gross either; if they are your friends, they are not going to hold it against you on purpose. But rather, it’s that after you tell them, you are the one who has to live with the consequences; once the genie is out of the bottle, so to speak, it can’t be put back in.
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I would say the best scenario when it comes to burp or fart fetish is to try to create situations where someone will burp or fart without them knowing it turns you on and then you can enjoy it later on when you have a moment with yourself. With burps it’s actually easier than with farts.
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I don’t think it’s inherently bad to tell friends, but you have to think to yourself if it’s the kind of relationship where you can be this open about your sexuality, and if the person has the kind of personality where they’re comfortable receiving that kind of information.
I think it’s common that when you find the courage to tell someone, you then want to tell everyone since it’s something that you’ve been carrying alone forever. You have to choose your moments carefully though and choose people who are close, trustworthy, and understanding.
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But you have to ask yourself what’s the point of telling friends in the first place. Why do they “need” to know that?
It might be like coming out tbh. I can only speak about this as someone who is yet to come out fully but yeah
No it’s nothing like that. Coming out is not a fetish or a kink, it’s just a sexual orientation/preference.
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No no no as it it may get a weight off their chest like coming out or something
I don’t personally feel a weight on my chest from liking burps or anything else, I feel sorry for the people who do.
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I struggled a bit with it when I was younger. At first I constantly questioned “why me?!” and yearned to be normal sexually, when I realised I would never be “normal”, I often felt very alone, there was the old yahoo groups and eventually the previous bff forum. But being the only person I actually knew with such an outrageously odd fetish definitely did feel like a weight on my chest at times.
Clarity, understanding and acceptance came with age in my case though. Now I wouldn’t give this fetish up for anything, I consider it a life bonus that most people don’t get to experience, and I’ve had as much fun with it as possible over the years.
But I suspect OP maybe young and perhaps hasn’t had the time to see full understanding of their fetish and how they want to deal with it. That urge to tell people can definitely be linked to wanting acceptance or to be understood or simply feeling like you shouldn’t have to hide or keep it such a huge secret, much like “coming out” in that sense. And while those reasons for telling people maybe somewhat valid, the validation doesn’t always come so easily.
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I agree with some of the thoughts in the thread but also want to push back against some others.
I was scared for a long time about sharing my fetish with anybody for fear of how others could use it against me and once some people knew, I’d never know how many other people had found out.
But over the course of this past year, I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with my fetish and it’s played a more important role in my life in a way I feel is worth talking about with people. I went from not mentioning having a fetish to all but my very closest friends last year, to this spring where I was telling strangers I’d just met about how I’d been experimenting with this fetish I have, talking around the specifics and not naming it, but also having a conversation about the fetish nonetheless.
But as I got more comfortable talking about it with some people I met on here and other fetish spaces, I also felt like it was something I wanted to share fully with a few friends so I “came out” to a few people at the end of the summer.
And then I started experimenting with an online play partner who would burp for me in the fall and when that happened, I felt a lot less shame around all of this and felt totally fine to just switch from talking around it to being open about it with anyone. Usually I won’t volunteer the information, but when people ask, I tell them now. And I think I’m moving into a place where it’ll just be part of who I am that I decide how publically to position it like any other interest someone might have. And part of this journey is that I’m working on an autobiographical film about my sexuality on a larger scale and so I made a choice that I will eventually go very public about all of this for that film, so it doesn’t matter so much now.
It really depends on who you are and how you navigate your sexuality publically. For me, and the friends I keep, I like being able to talk pretty openly about my sexuality with my friends and hope they do the same. With strangers/new friends, telling them this intimate part of my life can be a great way to build comfort and intimacy and invite them to share their own kinks. And with people you might be interested in dating/sleeping with… doubly so. Of course, once you’ve told people, it can be hard to gauge if they’re trying to flirt with you when they burp or if it’s just their natural habit. But personally, I think I feel better being open about how I feel about these things than keeping it a secret. I’d rather be able to address whether I’m turned on by someone’s burp and have them be able to regulate their behavior than hide my fetish in a way that might put us both in uncomfortable situations. I have a really close friend who burps a lot and I’m not into theirs but we’ve been friends for so long that telling them is going to be a little awkward because I didn’t tell them sooner. But it’s also easier for me to risk having some people burp at me to see my reaction now, because HRT has reduced how outwardly excited I appear even if I still get really mentally flustered sometimes. I feel like the risk of putting yourself out there fully in the right situations is worth that risk of some embarassing encounters when the reward is finding people who are excited to explore this fetish with you. But I also get that cultural norms for t4t dykes might be pretty different than how straight cis dudes are navigating these sorts of things.
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The thing which is a bit of a headfuck is that I struggle with the taboo/shame element of this to the majority of people who don’t have the fetish (i.e. nearly everyone). But I have a friend who just openly told me the weird and frankly disgusting porn he watches and he didn’t even seem to think sharing this with me was strange. It didn’t affect our friendship either, maybe because it all involves women and we are both straight men (i.e. he isn’t going to ask me to do anything like that).
But yeah, I die inside at telling someone I like women who burp but I have a friend who openly tells all the guys in our group the hardcore filth he is into. A headfuck indeed